You are here

King of Conversation

I am the king of conversations that go nowhere, the duke of partial sentences, the earl of mis-remembrance, and the count of interruption. The most recent go nowhere conversation was this one:

"I remember how I used to take pride in having the house clean and having your shirts all nice and ironed for you. I wonder what happened with that."

How do I comment on that, what do I come back with that's in the least bit constructive, validating or uplifting? That's right, NOTHING. Not a single word came out of my mouth, just a grunt and a shrug. I won't touch that comment with a ten foot pole and a bomb disposal suit.

Maybe I read it wrong, maybe it was just the only segue to "Hey I bought you some new dress shirts" that she could figure out. It just didn't seem to want to lean to some conclusion or some deeper discussion. Or maybe I'm just burnt out on deeper discussions that themselves also lead nowhere, or get interrupted or later mis-remembered. I'm burnt out on witty retorts and even non-witty ones, I can't even muster a decently crude come-on without stumbling over my words like "Yeah I got something, uh, you're gonna, I got, you wanna get... where was I going with this?"

Deep down I want a meaningful adult conversation, but I'm just so bored with hearing the same thing over and over and over again. Here are the paraphrased versions of my conversations each and every day:

To Work:
Where are you going today? - Tower/HQ
Do you need to stop? - Yes/No
I was watching the View (fill in story about the View)
Did you hear [insert story she's hoping I didn't hear about yet]

At Work:
This code is so screwed up
Tables for layout?!!!
Why can't I get this to work
Can you fix this for me now
What do you mean it doesn't work, wait, why are you sending the data [insert crazy data problem]

Coming Home:
I'm so tired of this class it's just [insert frustrating experience with instructor here]
Girl Scouts... [insert problem with troop leader, supplies, girls, etc.,.]
I'm so tired/overwhelmed/frustrated I just can't deal with it anymore
I told the kids to clean before I left, they better....
Who's texting me now! Brennan's hitting Tru again!

At Home:
Tavish hit Tru "She jumped in front of my fist while I was folding the blanket"
Why aren't the chores done?
Why is the TV on and chores aren't done?
Why are you outside playing and chores aren't done?
Why is your homework not done?
Why are the clothes still not sorted and put away?
I can't deal with your griping first thing when you walk in the door and the kids haven't done their chores!
Is it okay if I take a quick nap? Wake me in an hour.
When are you going to take me to... [insert place]? You/Mom promised me [insert time frame and alleged promise]
What are we having for dinner tonight?
Everyone needs to eat and get ready for bed! Now!
I've got to shoot something! (breaks out XBox controller)

Later That Night:
I'm going to bed now are you coming
Why don't you come to bed
Well I kind of thought you could rub on my shoulder
We'll see what happens
Not tonight
Would you quit
I'm tired

Throw in occasional 2 hour exhaustive talk about 30+ years of daddy/mommy issues, problems with neighborhood friend, issues with child's friend/family, rinse, regurgitate, repeat!

I long for discussion about a book, art, history, romance, the future, rekindling the past! Something! Anything! Positives? Please?! Instead I'm stuck in SSDD land (Same Shit Different Day) with repeating dead end conversations or conversations that I try to start and then get interrupted on! I'm at a loss for how to deal with it anymore. Instead I'll just sit out here and bitch about it! Another dead end conversation "Oh hey I read your site yesterday...." [insert picture of Dead End road sign here]