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Crappy Month

These last few weeks have been hell. I was on vacation the last two weeks of December. The entire time I was sick (still am). Then the family got sick one by one. Then by the time I didn't feel sick something new came into the house and we all got sick again. I think this knocked me back into my original illness, bronchitis.

I've been worried sick about my grandmother because I knew she was already sick and then this stuff is going around. Then when I try to call she's not answering. Luckily I found out she's staying at my uncle Joey's apartment. She was a rail the last time I got to see her and with being sick I can imagine that she's bone thin now. I worry about her every day.

It wouldn't be so bad if some of my family seemed more responsive to visiting or calling. Then I'd feel like someone cared for her. Unfortunately it seems that the visits and calls are sporadic and lackluster because everyone has their "issues". Grandma's a nag at times and gets stuck in her rut of complaining about those issues. But why not, what else does she have to talk about. Her world is her house and her kids that never call or visit and her memories of when they were always around. But to her they were only around when they needed something and she had something to give. And still at times they come around and she fills up their tank and gives them money for food or bills and then they're gone again. It's not hard to hold a grudge when that's the only thing you have to remember.

There's bickering about the house, bickering about her sanity, bickering amount money owed and favors done and favors due. It nauseates me. And I hear both sides of it. I hear my mother telling her side of it and my sister telling her side and my uncles side and my grandmother defending another uncle and on and on. Then everyone wonders why I'm out here in St. Louis and I do my very best to stay away and stay out of it all.

Well, what can you do when it's all out of your hands? Leave it in someone else's hands!