Turning Success Into Failure Every Day

I'm not exactly sure how it works but I see it every day. Especially in my own life. I've worked my way up to a point where I should be successful and by most peoples interpretation I am that. Unfortunately the happiness factor is not there.

While I make a decent income, it's all gone the day it comes in. I have a nice house that is in various states of "project" work (shambles). I have two cars, both of which need over a thousand dollars worth of work. I have a tight-nit family that regularly fights and belittles one another. I put two hundred dollars into savings every pay day and the day after payday I put it into checking to pay bills (Target, Wal-Mart, Lowes, HomeDepot).

It is a real struggle right now for me and I'm not seeing a light at the end of the tunnel. This is how depression works I guess. You can never see your way out when your in the middle of it. I keep telling myself it will all get better. Just wait until X (e.g. Bonus Time, Tax Time, Stock Time, etc). The hope just isn't there though. The thoughts of the future don't spark any light or bring any sunshine. I'm afraid it's just more dark days ahead.

Someone lone me $10,000 so I can be rid of at least one problem. Then I just have 9,997 more to go. BLEH! Better to get it out then keep it in.