I was tasked with writing about my dream date and in this one area I am hopeless. The reality is that while I've dated plenty of women... I haven't really gone on many dates. So I kind of suck at it. Usually when I dated a girl our "dates" consisted of making out on the couch, maybe watching a movie, or dinner, or some combination there of. Which means I don't have much experience really or much imagination.
It seems silly really since I'll watch just about any romantic movie out there and I'm a hopeless romantic when it comes to poetry or the idea of being in love. I'm just not too good on the execution part. I'm positive that my girlfriend is tired of going to the mall, going to some restaurant, or seeing another movie and not getting to talk for two hours (yawn.)
But thinking seriously about what has been successful and fun in the past for me typically has one or more of the following criteria:
- An unfamiliar place
- A loose plan (no specific timeframe)
- Mixing romance and absurdity
- Combining the formal and the mundane
I like to explore. I like to be in new places, find new restaurants, little shops, bookstores, clothes shops etc.,. I like for the person I'm with to be a little off balance at the same time that I am and for us to find our center together. I want to go into a clothes store and have them try on things they'd never wear in real life and take all kinds of pictures so they can see what they look like. Then in turn I'll let them take pictures of me being goofy, wearing things I shouldn't, being a child, when most of the time I pretend so hard to be an adult.
We'd walk through a neighborhood that we didn't know looking at the architecture, saying hi to the neighbors, making up stories about ourselves as if we lived in the neighborhood. Maybe we'd visit the local art fair and do some people watching and compare the art that we liked and didn't like. Then toward the end of the night we'd end up in a bookstore perusing the adult section, being infantile and joking about book titles or titillating each other with whatever lay behind the bindings.
But whatever we did, all night we'd be close. Holding hands, whispering in one another's ears. Teasing. Joking. Laughing. Loving.
I don't think planning a date is ever a good idea for me. I think if I worry over the details then nothing can go right. But if I just get a general idea together and jump into something... those tend to be the best dates I ever have. Those dates where I go out with a friend who wants to dance but I'm not a dancer, but I go anyway and I'm a wall flower but have great conversation and get to see all kinds of people. Those dates where I find a new place and I get to make a new story within that place. I love those times more than anything.
So I think my next date should be someplace I'm not familiar with. Either some part of the city I don't know. Or even just going into another city for a bit. I think that's how I need to break out of this rut of dating boredom I'm foisting onto my dates.