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Oh friend, I'm afraid that you've put me on a pedestal so high that I might fall and be utterly destroyed before you. I fear that you've placed me so far away that you cannot see me for who I am. From this great distance you cannot see my flaws. From where you are you see character in my ruminations, you see wisdom in my frivolities, you see compassion in my platitudes. Oh if only I could for brief instance meet that perception. It would be a happy day indeed.

I love you for the way you see me, but fear that I can never match that visage. I am no hero and have hardly been friend all these long years. It burdens me to think that you hold me in high regard given how little regard I've shown you. My only comfort is that I now have a chance to rectify the disservice I have done to you. I am comforted that over time I will be able to show you who I really am. You will see this flawed, lusty, angry, damaged soul for what it is. Hopefully when that happens you can still call me friend.

Until then understand that every day I strive to be a better person but fall short. Every day I pick myself up after a failure and try again. I may fail at giving you what you need and I will definitely fail at giving you what you want. I will try though to the limits of my capabilities. I can never rectify the mistakes I made as your lover and that path is forever closed. I can however attempt to be the friend that I hardly was. I can give you that love, however late in coming. So bare with me as I reveal myself to you and try not to be too disappointed as this pedestal comes rushing down. For it won't reveal a charming prince when it lands, but a frog instead.


Your friend