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My grandmother is in the hospital again. I love her and my grandfather furiously. I think about them daily. Yet at the same time I rarely call or make contact. Maybe a couple of times a year. It makes me feel like a hypocrite. Which makes it all the worse when one of them gets sick.

Right now Grandma Shirley is in a hospital in Corpus again. Grandad Jim was supposed to have had back surgery a few months back but I neglected to call and check up on him. Meanwhile my other Grandfather is dying of cancer and I'm sure it's horrible for my Grandma Suzy and aunt Lynna. Yet I haven't talked to them either.

I'm horrible when it comes to relationships. I keep telling myself I'll get better and I'll be more attentive. But I don't. I just let things slide until I have a mountain of regrets piled up. I don't like regrets. I don't like feeling like a hypocrite.

Right now though I have to focus on the people I love and actually get better at showing them that love. Another thing I'm horrible at.