Good night!

Last night I went with my friend Angela to see the extended version of Avatar. I had a really good time despite a few setbacks like being seriously late and going to the wrong place to eat. Sadly I'll have to report to my wife that our favorite Japanese restaurant Sansui is no more and that the restaurant in it's place is not up to the same standards. The food was lackluster with avocado in almost every roll and fake crab used everywhere. I like avocado but not in every single thing I eat. It was especially problematic since Angela is allergic to avocado. We ordered one roll specifically because there was no mention of avocado. Unfortunately the chefs decided to go against the menu description and throw a little avocado in the mix.

I guess life is mixed with happiness and disappointment and we have to learn how to take the good and emphasize it over the bad. Overall the night was good, the company was good, the movie was good and I choose to focus on the good.

We went to the Moolah. It's really the best way to experience a movie. Big comfy couches close up to the screen. We could have maybe been one row further back and had a better angle, but as it was we both just laid back into the couch and took in the beautiful scenery, of Pandora and the always amazing Moolah Theater. I really can't endorse the Moolah enough. Whether you're going with a friend or by yourself it really is a great experience and go against the norm of crowded, cramped, and cookie cutter theaters we have an abundance of today.

The movie was great. I get lost in the details of the art more so than the story. I mean I like the story, but I tend to be looking more at the imperfections in the skin of the modeled characters, how the hair was done or the texture and line of finger nails. Angela said "you're one of those people huh?" Intimating the same thing my wife does, that I pick apart movies, I analyze them over and over again. A flaw of my character? I feel like it helps me truly enjoy the work and the effort that people put into their craft.

I was dismayed when Kat said she didn't want to see the movie again. Luckily, it was good that I have a friend who was as excited about seeing the movie as I was and had some free time. It's been hard for me to connect with people and come out of my shell. I worry about what I'm saying, if I'm giving too little information or too much. Am I gushing too much about my wife and our experiences or commenting too frequently about my kids. Do I spend too much time talking about my interests and not giving them their time to speak. It's really a balancing act finding those nuances of body language that lets you know that what you just said is good, bad or indifferent to the person you are speaking with. I can't say that I've ever been good at reading people, or maybe it's more accurate to say I've never been good at responding in the right way to those signals.

I found myself struggling a lot with which side of the side walk to be on, how fast to walk, to open the door or not open the door, to pat her on the back as encouragement or no touch at all, and how to sit on the couch without owning too much of the space and invading her space while still not looking like I was closed or uncomfortable.

Some might say that I wouldn't be like this if it were a man I was going out with. They'd be wrong. I'm the same way when I go to lunch with my male counterparts at work. I worry in the car that our knees touching might offend them or that the fact that I've thrown my arm over the back of the seat might seem too close or that that friendly shoulder squeeze or pat on the back might be misconstrued or unwelcome.

Do I sound like a giant anxiety riddled ball of nerves yet? Well yeah that's me! Worry wort extreme!

But I'm trying. I'm not rushing anything. I'm not forcing or manipulating anything, as I'm often wont to do. I'm trying to get back to the person I once was who could go out and be fun and spontaneous with his friends. I need to get back to that place now more than ever, to be a better husband, a better father, a better man, a better me!

Thank you Angela for a great night out and warm and welcome company.

Thank you Kathleen for your patience and encouragement as I figure out how to make friends.