michael.havard's blog

Draft

I really like anime. I think my family thinks that I'm obsessed and maybe I am a little. I watch it regularly and I enjoy it and I'm not going to stop watching it. At the same time I'm not one for remembering every little nuance, episode, or character biography. I don't cosplay. I don't do fan-fiction. I don't hang out on boards talking to others about the next episode. I just like to watch them and enjoy the stories and get a little escape.

Just some misc art of mine.

Every day I see the impact of my negativity. At work, at home, my wife, my girlfriend, my kids, my friends, just with me by myself. I keep saying that I'm going to do something to fix that, but the next day comes and I continue down the same path. It's hard to change a habit that you've have for most of your life, certainly all of your adult life. It's not like smoking or drinking or some dietary change. You can't just put down your brain or take some medication that makes you nauseous every time you have a negative thought.

Miserable day. Early this morning my eldest cat TJ who's somewhere between 18 and 22 years old got into an altercation with either our other cat or worse our dog and suffered a nasty laceration to the bridge of his nose. It's caused quite a bit of bleeding out of his nose and his face is pretty swollen. I've been by his side all day worried whether he would make it through. I would have just taken him to the vet but here we are the day after payday at 0 due to other circumstances.

I was tasked with writing about my dream date and in this one area I am hopeless. The reality is that while I've dated plenty of women... I haven't really gone on many dates. So I kind of suck at it. Usually when I dated a girl our "dates" consisted of making out on the couch, maybe watching a movie, or dinner, or some combination there of. Which means I don't have much experience really or much imagination.

I have this idea in one of my stories for a robot, but I can't quite get down the features I want him to have. This definitely is not him.

Neither Kelly or I are big believers in Astrology. I mean each person tends to find the thing that suits them in the words and ignores the things that don't suit them. Maybe this isn't any different. But I thought it was charming to say the least when Kelly brought something similar to my attention earlier today.

We live in a society full of people saying one thing and doing another. Politicians who say they are pro-life but allow people to die on the streets, or who are fiscally conservative except when it comes to the earmarks that apply to their state. Government officials who say they want a more efficient government but then add more layers and increase complexity and regulation. All the way down to people on Facebook copying and pasting posts because someone implores them that if they care they'll re-post too.

Tomorrow marks 1 year and 1 month into my relationship with Kelly. It's been a challenging, sobering and introspective time, but one I wouldn't trade for the world. I've been remembering the first few couple of months of our friendship together and how worried I was to blow it, to complicate it, or to lose what made it special. There were certainly plenty of opportunities for it to all fly apart. But she's an amazing person, and somehow she fought past all of my insecurity and all of Kat's insecurity and she's stuck by our side.